To Leave Innocence Behind
by Bibly
Summary: More crazy stuff, cuz my friend asked for it. As numerous wars rage on, X feels his sanity slipping from him. Before long, he's no longer able to hold all his pain and suffering in.


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To Leave Innocence Behind  
By: Bibly

Blood was everywhere. No matter where I stood, no matter what I did, it was all I could see, smell, feel, taste, and even hear. Despite the wind I could tell was blowing through the destruction, which soft touch usually calmed me, the pain and anger I felt within refused to leave. It remained deep within me, joining forces with the anguish that already lived within me and slowly tore at my sanity with its sharp claws.

As I stood, still in the same spot I had placed myself when I told my unit to return to headquarters without me, I felt my left eyebrow begin to twitch. The very thought of headquarters made me feel like screaming into the clear blue sky. Although it was home to the birth of many fond memories, it was also home to those who had to kill their own kind in stupid, meaningless wars in order to maintain a sense of false peace within the world. Many acted like the constant fighting and loss of loved ones didn't affect them. I myself acted that way, having this stupid urge to appear strong in the eyes of others.

But I couldn't keep it up any longer.

Although it would seem that I was doing nothing more than standing around, gazing at the carnage before me, there was much more to it. My sanity was slipping from me. I could have sworn that I reeked of death, having killed so many with my bare hands. I glanced down at my armor and found more blood staining its azure color than was actually there. The screams of hundreds of lost souls ringed in my ears. My body began to shake violently as I closed my eyes.

With my feet pressed against the blood-covered ground, alone in the destroyed town, I slowly began to lose my sanity.

I couldn't take it anymore! The screams, the blood, the destruction, after so many years of fighting all these fucking battles… It was too much! I was beginning to lose sight of my original goal in life: to find my true purpose. What was it? What was the fucking purpose the "good Dr. Light" so "honored" me with?!

I was brought out of my train of thought by a loud crunching sound. Bewildered, my sanity gone from the hundreds of thoughts and faces of dead friends that raced through my mind, I spun and stared at the offender.

"…C-Commander…X…," he muttered from his place beneath a large pile of rubble, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth and out of the numerous deep wounds scattered throughout his body.

A chuckle rippled from deep within my throat as I stared at him. "A survivor." I slowly walked towards him, charging my buster cannon as I went. When I reached him, I knelt by his side. "Are you okay?"

The rookie coughed. "I…don't think…so… I've lost…a lot…of vital fluid…"

"Hn." My eyes narrowed as I checked him over. He had indeed lost a lot of vital fluid. His blood seeped from beneath the jagged rocks he lay crushed between, massive rivers of it mixed with both his own blood and who knew who else's flowing to greet the other river that flowed not too far away. A grin slowly appeared on my lips. "I don't think anyone'll be able to help you." Before the downed reploid could reply, I stood, aiming the cannon at his face. In a flash of light, his head and most of his upper body had been blown completely off. An insane laughed burst forth from my mouth as I watched what was left of him gush his precious black-red liquid from within deep within onto my armor. What was I doing? What did it matter? For the first time in years, I felt at peace with myself. Yes, it was at the expense of other's own pain and suffering, but I had merely put this man out of his misery.

I turned in a slow circle, a smug grin worn on my face as I surveyed the area. Rubble lay everywhere, nearly covering the ground which was speckled with red liquid. As I looked, I spotted something move from behind the rubble. First a hand appeared, then a head, and then a body and legs. My grin widened. What stood before me was neither Hunter nor human. Nor was it even Maverick.

It was a demon.

A demon who would easily scare the sane with its long claws and teeth, its unbelievable height and muscular build.

However, I was anything but sane at that moment.

Its toothy mouth moved, drool dangling from it as a growl ripped through the air. I stood my ground, staring intently at it. "Well, hello!" I shouted rather cheerfully. "Come to die, have you? Well, c'mon! I haven't got all day!" I laughed. "Death can wait, but I sure as hell can't!" The demon continued to stand in its spot, odd grunting sounds flowing from its mouth to my ears. I smirked. "If you're not gonna attack me, then I guess I'll just have to attack you!" Leaping into the air, I shot a large blast at the creature, watching as it jumped away and onto the ledge of a nearby broken building. I dashed at him, ramming my shoulder guard into its side, smiling contently as a yelp erupted into the air. The demon did a back flip before it landed with a soft thud below me, a familiar move when I saw it, but I didn't bother to think about it.

"Fight me, demon!" I shouted, aiming my buster at him once more. "You're beginning to bore me!" I watched as the demon dodged my attacks, all the while coming closer and closer to my general area. With a smirk, I leaped at him once more, but while I was in my oddly joyous mood, I didn't bother to block a swift punch to the face, which sent me crashing into a pile of dead bodies.

I shook my head as I stood and glared at the demon. My eyes widened when I saw him. He had suddenly grown a long blonde ponytail and now had piercing blue eyes. I growled. Whatever was going on didn't matter at that moment. He had landed a direct attack on my left cheek, and such an action would not go without a penalty!

Picking up a nearby metal pole, I ran at him and slammed it into his shoulder, grinning madly when a sickening crack met my ears. "Yes! Die! Die, monster!" I continued to pummel him with the pole, laughing madly as I did so. Nothing seemed to matter at the moment. I basked in the pain I was causing him, washed myself in his screams and cleansed myself with the blood that had begun to seep from his side. In all blind happiness, I didn't notice when he grasped it with his hand and tossed it aside. The tides suddenly turned, and I was the one who was getting beaten.

A burning pain shot through me as his fists rammed into my body. It was almost as if he was beating sanity back within me, for when he began to pull away, I fell to the ground in a fit of tears.

"What have I done…?" I choked, tears streaming down my face. "What…have I done…?" All the people I had killed, the man I killed just moments earlier who could have been saved, and that demon that had appeared…I tried to search for some sort of logic within it all, but found none. For the first time in my life, I lost my grip on reality and fell into a world I thought I would ever enter. I muttered to myself as whatever sanity I had left within me pushed back into my mind, regret stabbing at me with its dully-bladed knife.

A pair of arms wrapped around me, propping me up against something warm and comforting. I whimpered and opened my eyes slightly. A pair of blue eyes greeted me. Blue eyes…blonde hair…the demon…it was…no, it wasn't the demon. It was…Zero…?

"X, X, are you okay?" Zero inquired, his voice shaky. His armor was scratched and dented in numerous places within my onslaught against what I thought was nothing more than a demon spawned from the hate and death within the world. Blood seeped from a small cut on his cheek, dripping down his face and splashing against my own armor. "What was that about? X? X?!"

I closed my eyes once again, burying my face as best I could within his armor. What was happening to me? I had lost my sanity for a few moments and had willing killed someone! I imagined that my best friend and secret love was a demon and would have killed him without a second thought! Why? What did all of it mean?! Why was my life crashing down upon me like this?!

My tears smeared with the blood of those I had killed and Zero's own blood as we sat under the clear sky. He had begun to rock me gently, cooing words of love within my ear as I tried to calm myself.

"When your unit arrived without you, I thought something horrible had happened," Zero whispered to me, kissing my cheek softly. "I needed to see if you were alright. But, X, what was that all about? Why did you attack me?"

I snuggled up closer to him as I opened my eyes and stared lovingly and yet, hatefully, at his chest. I didn't bother to answer him. What the hell would I tell him, anyway? Nothing. Nothing at all.

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Zero, I love you. I love you.

But it's all your fault.

owari

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Author's Note: Because my buddy Crystle wanted more crazy stuff, I wrote more crazy stuff! Odd to imagine X going crazy. O_o;;; As scary as Zero must be when he's insane, I don't think I'd wanna be ANYWHERE near an insane X. This is rather boring, yeah, not much detail, but I wrote the damn thing at three in the morning. @_@ Confusing ending, too. Bwaha, I'm such a loser.


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